One of the perks of living alone is that you get plenty of me time. You’re in charge of your space, your time, your routines. You don’t have to negotiate plans, share the remote, or justify your schedule to anyone. It’s freedom in its purest form.
But there’s a shadow side to that freedom—it can be really easy to drift into isolation without even noticing. Especially if you’re naturally introverted, socially anxious, or just plain tired from life.
So how do you know when your alone time is doing you good—and when it’s quietly wearing you down?
Solitude vs. Avoidance
True solitude is a choice. It’s when you want to be alone, and your time with yourself feels intentional. You read, go for walks, work on projects, rest, cook, clean, stare out the window—whatever. You feel like your life is yours.
Avoidance, on the other hand, is when you don’t want to be alone, but you’re not doing anything about it. Maybe it’s fear of awkward social moments, the discomfort of meeting new people, or just the inertia that builds after spending too many weekends solo.
It’s the difference between opting out and shutting down.
Sometimes, avoidance looks a lot like solitude—until it doesn’t. Until you realise you’ve gone a week without a real conversation. Until even texting a friend feels like too much effort. Until you start wondering if this is just what your life is now.
I’m fortunate to have family in town – when they reach out with an invitation, my personal rule is that I won’t say ‘no thanks’ unless I’m already booked somewhere else… somewhere that isn’t at home.
I made this rule for myself because I could feel the self-inflicted isolation happening.
At the same time, I don’t always have to wait for an invitation. A simple “Hey, you guys up for a visitor this afternoon?” or random drop-by when I’m out for a ride are both on the cards. Just don’t depend on people always being available when you reach out.
The Gradual Slide
Living alone doesn’t usually shift from “healthy solitude” to “full isolation” overnight. It’s subtle, insidious.
It starts with declining a few invitations because you’re tired. Then not making any new plans because it’s cold or you’re busy. Then realising it’s been a month and the only people who’ve said your name out loud are baristas.
There’s no big turning point. Just a slow slide into numbing routines and low-level loneliness that’s easy to ignore—until you can’t.
Signs You Might Be Leaning Too Far In
You start turning down invitations reflexively—even the ones you might enjoy.
You find yourself restless or down but can’t quite name why.
The idea of seeing people feels exhausting, but being alone isn’t making you feel better either.
You’ve convinced yourself you don’t need anyone, but a part of you wonders if that’s really true.
None of these signs mean something is wrong with you. They’re just cues—invitations to check in with yourself.
Rebuilding Connection, Gently
If you realise your me time has tipped into too much time, you don’t need a dramatic intervention. You don’t need to “get out more” or go full extrovert.
Start small. Send a message to someone you like but haven’t seen in a while. Make a plan you can cancel without guilt. Go sit in a cafe with a book—just being around people counts.
Maybe just go and walk somewhere with lots of people around. A popular weekend or evening destination, a shopping centre.
Final Thoughts: It’s a Balance
Alone time is essential, but it’s not infinite fuel. Even the most independent people need connection. And it’s not weakness to admit that. It’s just being human.
When you live alone, you have to be your own emotional barometer. You’re the one checking in, adjusting course, noticing when the silence is restorative—and when it’s starting to echo.
Me time is beautiful. Just don’t let it become a burden.
This quote hits home in the most grounded, quietly powerful way:
“Once you know how to take care of yourself, company becomes an option and not a necessity.”
There’s a huge difference between being alone because you have no choice—and being alone because you’ve learned how to enjoy your own company. Keanu nails that distinction here.
Taking yourself out to eat. Buying things for yourself. Spending time alone, not because you’re avoiding others, but because you actually enjoy it. That’s a kind of emotional self-sufficiency a lot of people don’t talk about.
Living solo doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It means you’re responsible for your own happiness—and when you start treating your own company as something worthwhile, the world gets a lot lighter.
It doesn’t mean you never want connection. But it means that connection becomes something you choose, not something you chase.
For many people, weekends are synonymous with social events, family obligations, or date nights. But when you live alone, your weekends are entirely your own—free from external expectations or demands. This can be both liberating and overwhelming. Without structure, weekends can slip away in a blur of scrolling, binge-watching, and wondering where the time went.
But solo weekends can be more than just empty time to fill. They’re a chance to recharge, be productive, and fully enjoy your own company. Here’s how to make your solo weekends more fulfilling, intentional, and enjoyable.
Balance Rest and Productivity
One of the biggest challenges of solo weekends is finding the right balance between rest and action. Too much rest, and you may feel sluggish and disconnected by Sunday evening. Too much productivity, and you may not feel like you had any weekend at all.
How to Find the Right Mix:
Start with a Check-In: Before the weekend begins, ask yourself—What do I need most right now? More rest? More creativity? More movement?
Try a 50/50 Approach: Plan for half your weekend to be restful and half to be active or productive.
Set a Simple Focus for Each Day: One day could be for recharging, the other for getting things done.
Example: My Saturdays normally start with a bit of a cleaning binge. By the end of the week, there’s nearly always something that I didn’t get around to doing through the week, and I know I’ll feel better if it’s not staring me in the face all weekend. So, I do that first.
I try to spend the rest of the morning being a bit more creative – working on my writing, or maybe some blogging work. No rush, no pressure, just moving things forward.
Afternoons, I’m open to what’s going on. Maybe I’ll spend time with family, maybe I’ll get on the motorbike and find some curves on the open roads. Maybe I’ll find some friends online, and we’ll go blow up some aliens or kill some zombies together.
Sundays, I’m more about relaxation.I might put a big cook on in the slow cooker, then spend my time in a book, or a series of movies. Maybe I’ll game some more, maybe I won’t.
Create a Weekend Ritual
When you live alone, weekends can blur together with weekdays unless you create rituals that make them feel distinct.
Ideas for Weekend Rituals:
Start with something small. A special breakfast, a morning walk, or an unplugged coffee break can signal that the weekend has begun. For me, this is bacon and eggs, and breakfast at my dining table.
A Saturday or Sunday tradition. Whether it’s movie night, an at-home spa session, or a long reading session, having a tradition makes weekends feel meaningful.
A dedicated reset time. Use an hour on Sunday to prep for the week ahead—clean your space, plan meals, or set intentions.
Example: Make Sunday mornings your slow breakfast and journaling time, setting a relaxed tone before the new week begins.
Explore a Theme for the Weekend
Choosing a theme or focus for your solo weekend helps prevent it from feeling aimless. Your theme can be about rest, creativity, learning, or adventure.
Weekend Theme Ideas:
The Rest Weekend: Pajamas, books, naps, long baths, no pressure to do anything productive.
The Creative Weekend: Writing, painting, photography, or working on a passion project.
The Learning Weekend: Watching documentaries, taking an online course, or diving into a new skill.
The Mini Adventure Weekend: Exploring a new café, taking a long drive, or visiting a museum alone.
Example: Set a “Creative Weekend” and spend time on art, writing, or music. No pressure—just exploration.
Plan One Outing—Even If It’s Just for You
Solo weekends don’t mean you have to stay inside. Getting out of the house boosts mood and prevents isolation.
In general terms, I don’t crave company. But sometimes, I do like being out and around other people.
Easy Solo Outings:
Visit a bookstore, museum, or coffee shop.
Go for a long walk in a different part of town.
Try a solo restaurant experience—sit at the bar, bring a book.
Take a day trip somewhere new.
Example: Pick one small outing, like grabbing coffee at a new spot or taking a scenic walk.
Make Solo Weekends Feel Special
When you live alone, it’s easy to treat weekends like just another day. Making small tweaks to elevate your weekend can make a big difference.
Ways to Make Your Weekend Feel Different:
Change up your space. Light candles, play music, rearrange your space slightly.
Upgrade your meals. Cook something special or try a new recipe.
Dress for the occasion. Even if you’re staying in, wearing something cozy or stylish can change your mood.
Example: Have a “fancy dinner for one”—cook something special, set the table, and make it feel like an event.
I do this once in a while – for a meal that I’ve spent a bit more time or money on. I’ll clean any detritus off my dining table (it does seem to attract it through the week), cook a good steak and matching sides, open a bottle of wine. I’ll put some good music on and just plain enjoy the meal.
Final Thoughts: Enjoying Your Own Company
Solo weekends aren’t about “filling time”—they’re an opportunity to design your own ideal rhythm. Whether you want to relax, explore, create, or get things done, making small adjustments can turn solo weekends into something you look forward to, rather than just get through.
If you’re not sure where to start, pick one idea from this list and try it next weekend. Over time, you’ll discover what makes solo weekends feel rewarding for you.
It’s the question everyone asks when they find out you live alone. The assumption is always the same—if you’re on your own, you must be lonely.
And sometimes, yeah. I am.
But here’s the thing: loneliness isn’t always a problem to be solved. It’s a feeling, like any other. And like any other feeling, it doesn’t last forever.
For me, loneliness is often a sign that I’m bored, or somehow dissatisfied with what I’m spending my time on. That I should get off my behind and go DO something. Sometimes that might be with other people, but more often than not, I’ll find something better to do by myself.
We have this idea that being alone should be an unbroken stretch of contentment, productivity, and peace. That if you’re doing it “right,” you never feel lonely at all. But loneliness isn’t a sign that you’ve failed at living alone—it’s just part of the human experience.
It’s a contrast. And this contrast makes my social time feel more meaningful.
Loneliness Comes and Goes
Living alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely all the time. Most of the time, it’s great. You get to do what you want, when you want, without answering to anyone. You can go entire days without making small talk. You control your space, your schedule, your whole life.
But every once in a while, loneliness shows up—maybe on a quiet Sunday when there’s nothing planned, or after a long day when there’s no one to share it with. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your life. It just means you’re human.
Some people fear loneliness so much that they try to fill every silence with noise, every empty space with people, every free moment with distraction. But being alone isn’t something that needs to be “fixed.” It’s something to live through, sit with, and accept.
You Don’t Have to Fear the Quiet
One of the biggest gifts of living alone is learning to be comfortable in your own company. Not every moment needs to be filled, and not every feeling needs to be changed. Sometimes, loneliness is just the background hum of a quiet evening, and that’s okay.
When you stop treating loneliness as a problem, it loses its impact. You start to recognise it for what it is—a passing moment, not a permanent state.
I’m a words guy—words are how I shape my own world in so many ways. So, rather than “I’m lonely”, I reframe it to “I’m feeling lonely right now”. It’s not a huge shift in terms of language, but in terms of the weight of the feeling? For me, that shift is massive.
It takes it from “I am…” to “I am experiencing…”. Something that I am is a HUGE thing. Something that I’m experiencing is transitory.
There’s power in being able to sit with your own thoughts. In not needing to reach for your favourite distraction (phone) the second after silence creeps in.
Loneliness is an experience, and you become more whole by allowing yourself to dwell in that experience when it occurs.
Loneliness Is Part of the Deal—And That’s Not a Bad Thing
No matter how full your life is, everyone feels lonely sometimes. Even people in relationships. Even people with big families and busy social lives.
The difference is, when you live alone, you don’t get to ignore it. You don’t get to just make it go away by pulling other people into your life.
And maybe that’s a good thing. Because when you face loneliness instead of running from it, you get stronger. You stop fearing time by yourself. You learn to be content with your own thoughts. You realise that being alone and being lonely aren’t the same thing.
So yeah, sometimes I get lonely. But I wouldn’t trade the life I have—the space, the freedom, the self-sufficiency—for the illusion that being around people all the time would magically make that feeling disappear.
Because it wouldn’t. And because I’ve learned something important:
Loneliness isn’t the opposite of happiness. It’s just part of life.
…How to enjoy your treat nights without guilt or breaking the budget.
Ordering takeout isn’t bad, but it’s easy to fall into a habit where it becomes your default. If you love takeout but don’t want to drain your wallet, try these strategies:
How to Keep Takeout in Check:
Set a “Takeout Budget” Per pay period: Decide in advance how often you’ll order in—it helps control impulse cravings. Personally, I get paid weekly, and I have a limit of one per week. Do I ever go over that limit? Yup! No guilt, no shame. It’s a guideline, that’s all.
Opt for Multi-Meal Orders: If you order takeout, go for meals that provide leftovers so you get more than one meal out of it.
Maybe order the bigger portion, the larger pizza. That’s tomorrow night’s dinner (or maybe lunch) sorted as well!
DIY Your Favourite Takeout Dishes: Keep simple ingredients on hand for homemade versions of your favourites (stir-fry, ramen, tacos).
My personal guideline is that if I can make it well (and reasonably quickly) at home, I won’t order it in.
I can cook a damned fine steak, an awesome burger, and decent pasta. If I order in, it’s more likely to Asian or Turkish food, or occasionally a really good pizza – all things that are harder for me to make at home.
Pro Tip: Find a go-to, super-easy meal that you can make in 10 minutes so you don’t default to takeout when you’re too tired to cook. If you make it something you can cook from frozen, then there’s no planning needed ahead of time.
How to Eat Well Without Overspending
Eating well on a solo budget doesn’t mean sacrificing quality. With a few smart habits, you can enjoy great meals without breaking the bank. You can buy some things in bulk, and it takes very little time to break them up and repackage them before they go into the freezer.
Some things don’t keep well, so you might struggle to use it all before they become inedible, so plan to use them all! It’s an extravagance, but you, my friend, are worth it.
Simple Meal Ideas That Work for One Person
When you’re short on time or energy, having a few go-to meal ideas makes all the difference.
5-Minute Salad Bowl: Pre-washed greens + protein (canned tuna, tofu, or grilled chicken) + nuts/seeds + dressing.
Egg-Based Dishes: Scrambled eggs, omelets, or shakshuka are fast, protein-packed, and versatile. As a bonus (as long as you can go without toast for your eggs), they’re protein-high and carb-low.
Taco Night: Keep tortillas on hand and use whatever protein & toppings you have.
Rice Bowls: Cook extra rice and top with different proteins and sauces throughout the week.
Air Fryer Favorites: Make crispy chicken tenders, roasted vegetables, or cheese crisps for a quick and easy meal.
Pro Tip: Keep 5-10 go-to, no-brainer meals on rotation for stress-free cooking.
Personally, my local supermarket does reasonably priced chicken skewers, and I buy them in bulk when they’re on special. They have a few flavour variations (satay and honey-soy are my two go-to options), and they cook, from frozen, in about 15 minutes in the air fryer. While they’re cooking, I’ll throw together something green (most often that’s a bunch of lettuce and some mayo), and spend the rest of the time doing a quick clean of whatever could do with a little cleaning attention. Then, when the air fryer beeps at me, it’s time to eat!
I have found that I don’t have a huge need for variety, and I’m quite OK with cooking a four person meal and eating it for four out of the next five dinners. Maybe that’s you too, and if the worst that happens is that you’re a little bored with your meals for a week? So what?
Final Thoughts
Living alone doesn’t mean settling for boring meals, wasted groceries, or endless takeout. With a little planning and a few simple habits, you can enjoy delicious, affordable, and easy meals every day.
Challenge: Pick one of these strategies and try it this week. Maybe it’s meal planning, cooking a double portion to freeze, or just adding one new go-to meal to your rotation.
Living alone means total freedom over your time—which is both a blessing and a curse. There’s no one to nag you about unfinished tasks, no shared schedules dictating when things get done, and no external structure keeping you on track.
And that’s great… until you realise that you just spent three hours scrolling through Reddit, your sink is full of dishes, and somehow, you have nothing to show for an entire weekend.
Time can disappear when there’s no one else around to anchor it, and when you live solo, it’s easy to drift between unstructured hours and low-energy habits without even noticing.
So how do you stop wasting time without turning your life into an exhausting productivity checklist? The key is balance—finding a rhythm that lets you feel satisfied with your days without falling into the trap of over-optimisation.
Recognise the Difference Between “Rest” and “Drift”
Not every slow moment is wasted time. Resting is necessary: it helps you recharge, process thoughts, and reset for the next thing. Drifting, on the other hand, is when you’re not really resting or being productive. Instead, you’re just passing time in a way that doesn’t feel meaningful.
The key is awareness. If you feel better after an activity (watching a show you love, taking a walk, reading, or gaming), it was rest. If you feel sluggish, guilty, or like the time evaporated with nothing to show for it, you were drifting.
Quick Fix: Before starting any activity, ask yourself: Will this make me feel better or worse afterward? If it’s true rest, keep going. If it’s mindless drifting, shift gears.
Afterwards, evaluate the truth of what you thought before you started, and learn something from that lesson.
The “Accidental Time Sink” Problem
Living alone means no built-in interruptions to break up your time. There’s no roommate coming home to snap you out of a social media spiral. No one asking, “What have you been up to?” to make you reflect on your day.
That’s how an hour of “I’ll just check my phone” turns into an entire evening lost.
Quick Fix: Use a Pattern Interrupt—when you catch yourself mindlessly scrolling or zoning out, do something physical for 30 seconds (stand up, stretch, get a drink). That tiny action resets your focus and helps you make a conscious decision about what to do next.
Make “Soft Structure” Work for You
Rigid schedules don’t work for everyone, and living alone means you don’t have to follow anyone else’s routines. But that doesn’t mean your days should be entirely unstructured.
Soft structure means creating a flow to your day without forcing a rigid schedule.
Instead of saying, “I will start work at exactly 9:00 AM,” try “I will start my first task after I make coffee and open my laptop.”
Instead of “I will read for 30 minutes every night,” go with “I will read a few pages before bed, even if it’s just two.”
Quick Fix: Identify one or two anchor points in your day—things that naturally happen (waking up, meals, getting home from work). Use those as triggers for small actions that help you stay on track.
Stop Making Every Task a “Big Thing”
When you live alone, tasks expand to fill the time you give them.
Laundry doesn’t take three hours. It takes ten minutes to start a load, two minutes to switch it, and five minutes to put it away.
Dishes don’t take “forever.” It’s a five-minute job unless you let them pile up. If you do let them pile up, it’s still only half an hour.
When no one else is around to hold you accountable, small tasks can feel bigger than they are.
Quick Fix: Use the 10-Minute Rule—set a timer for 10 minutes and start any task. If you want to stop when the timer goes off, you can. Most of the time, you’ll just finish the thing.
I use my Air Fryer for a lot of my evening meals, and my personal rule is that I won’t sit down while it’s running – I’ll do something. That 10-15 minutes (depending on what I’m cooking) is when I take care of a lot of my simple household maintenance tasks.
Use “Intentional Time-Wasting” to Your Advantage
Sometimes, wasting time is exactly what you need—but it’s better when it’s on purpose instead of by accident.
Binge-watching a show guilt-free is fun. Binge-watching out of procrastination and regret is miserable.
The difference? Deciding in advance.
Quick Fix: Set a “permission window” for things that might otherwise feel unproductive. “I’m going to spend an hour gaming, and then I’ll get up and do something else.” That way, it’s an active choice, not a passive drift.
Final Thoughts: Living Alone Means You Set the Pace
The best part of solo living is that you get to decide how you spend your time. No one else shapes your schedule, routines, or priorities—you have total control.
That freedom is powerful, but it also means you have to be your own guide. The trick isn’t to cram your time with constant productivity, but to be intentional about where your hours go.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to notice when time is slipping away and decide if that’s what you really want.
So go ahead—watch that show, scroll that feed, take that nap. Just make sure that when you do, it’s because you chose it, not because the time just disappeared.
One of the best-kept secrets about living alone? You get to be fully, unapologetically yourself. No filtering, no compromising, no wondering if your habits are “normal” or “acceptable.” When you live alone, the only person who has to be okay with how you exist in your space is you.
That means you can embrace your weirdness, your quirks, and the random habits that make you, well… you. And honestly? That’s one of the greatest perks of solo living.
When you share a space with others, you have to be reasonable. You have to consider their preferences, be mindful of what’s “appropriate,” and generally keep the peace. But when you live alone, your home is your kingdom, and you make the rules. Want to eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Go for it. Rearrange your furniture at 2 AM just because you feel like it? No one’s stopping you. Sing at full volume in the shower—or out of it? It’s your concert, and the audience is always approving.
Living alone also means you don’t have to justify your bizarre daily routines to anyone. We all have weird habits—things we do when no one’s watching—but the difference is, when you live alone, no one is watching. You don’t have to explain why you eat meals on the floor instead of at the table, why you talk to yourself while doing chores, or why you always enter your home with a dramatic flourish. Your time is yours, and you can shape it however you want.
Another major perk? Your home reflects you, and only you. If you’ve ever lived with roommates, family, or a partner, you know how much compromise goes into decorating and organising a shared space. But when you live solo, you don’t have to think about whether your love for sci-fi posters clashes with someone else’s “modern minimalist” aesthetic. Your home can be filled with bookshelves instead of a TV, mismatched mugs instead of uniform dish sets, or an oversized bean bag instead of a formal sofa. You don’t have to make your space “guest-friendly” or align it with what someone else thinks looks good—it only has to make you happy.
Living alone also gives you room to experiment, whether that’s in fashion, cooking, or new hobbies. Want to wear a cape around the house just for fun? Go ahead. Feel like straight up Winnie-the-Poohing it around the house, with just a shirt on, and easy breezy down below? All good, my friend. Always wanted to try making homemade sushi but worried it might turn into a disaster? If it flops, there’s no audience for the failure—just you and your next attempt (and an unartistic mess of tasty ingredients that you can still eat and enjoy). Your living room can transform into an art studio, a music space, or whatever creative chaos you feel like embracing.
If you want to display your glass eye collection in your terrariums? You do you!
One of the best, most underrated perks of living alone? No social obligations—unless you actually want them. There’s no pressure to engage in morning small talk before you’ve had coffee, no forced interactions when you just want quiet, and no one questioning your decision to spend an entire weekend completely alone. If you don’t feel like talking, you don’t have to. If you want to cancel plans last minute—who’s going to stop you? Silence can be golden, and the ability to control when and how you interact with the world is a level of freedom few people get to experience.
Ultimately, one of the greatest joys of living alone is the ability to be completely, unapologetically yourself. No censoring, no justifying, no worrying about whether your habits are “acceptable.” The things that might seem weird to others? They make your home feel like yours.
So go ahead—talk to your plants, eat ice cream straight from the tub, and dance around your living room like no one’s watching. Because no one is watching.
Solo living is often framed as a phase—something temporary, something you pass through on your way to a “real” life with a partner. But what if that’s not true? What if thriving solo is just as valid, just as fulfilling, as any other way of living? What if, for you, it’s even better?
This isn’t about saying solo life is superior—it’s about recognizing that it might be better for you. It might be better for you forever, or just for now. Either way, the important thing is making the most of it, rather than treating it as a holding pattern while you wait for something else.
The Myth of Solo Life as a Transition Phase
From childhood, we’re conditioned to see relationships as milestones—the next step in a progression that starts with school, leads to work, and culminates in pairing up with someone. Living alone, especially for an extended period, is often seen as a gap in that journey, an incomplete chapter. People will tell you, “You’ll find someone eventually,” as if that’s the only logical conclusion to your story.
But what if it’s not? What if solo living isn’t a phase, but a destination?
While you ponder that for a moment, remember this too: A destination doesn’t have to be permanent.
Even if you do eventually choose to be in a relationship, seeing solo living as just a waiting room stops you from fully embracing its benefits. You miss the chance to build a life that’s wholly your own, free from compromise, free from expectations, and rich with self-determined purpose.
You Are Not Half of a Whole
There’s a long-standing cultural myth that people are “halves” looking for completion in someone else. This idea is everywhere—from fairytales to rom-coms—but it’s flawed. You are already whole.
A relationship might enhance your life, but it shouldn’t be the thing that defines its meaning. The moment you start living like you’re waiting for someone to come along and “complete” you, you put yourself on pause. You stop building, stop growing, stop fully inhabiting your own life.
Instead of waiting, why not thrive? Instead of seeing this time as a gap, why not see it as an opportunity?
The Real Measure of Success in Solo Living
If thriving solo isn’t just a phase, how do you measure success? Not by whether you eventually couple up, but by whether your life feels fulfilling and satisfying right now. Success in solo living looks like:
Feeling content and at home in your own space.
Having routines and habits that support your wellbeing.
Enjoying your own company without feeling like something is missing.
Pursuing hobbies, passions, and interests on your own terms.
Building a life that’s not defined by the absence of a relationship, but by the presence of things that make you happy.
Solo Might Be Better for You—At Least Right Now
Maybe solo life is right for you forever. Maybe it’s just right for you right now. Either way, why not make the most of it?
Instead of treating solo living as a waiting room, see it as an open space where you can explore, learn, and grow without constraints. What do you want from your life, on your own terms? That’s the real question—not whether or not you’ll find someone someday.
Solo isn’t a pause. It’s a path. And it might just be exactly the right one for you.
… or why not every connection has to be your new BFF.
We grow up with the idea that we should all have a “best friend forever”—one person who knows everything about us, shares every interest, and is always there, no matter what. It’s a comforting idea, but in reality, most friendships don’t work like that. More often than not, the strongest and most enduring connections are activity-specific relationships—friendships that are deeply meaningful, but centred around a particular shared experience rather than an all-encompassing bond.
The Myth of the All-Purpose Best Friend
The idea of a single, catch-all best friend is ingrained in us from childhood. We see it in books, movies, and TV shows—two inseparable people who share every aspect of their lives. But real friendships, just like real people, are far more complex.
The truth is, it’s rare to find someone who aligns with you across every aspect of life. More often, we connect with different people in different ways. The friend you go hiking with might not be the same one you’d talk to about personal struggles. The person who shares your love of old movies might not care at all about your latest work project. And that’s okay.
Why Activity-Specific Relationships Matter
Rather than seeing friendships as “all or nothing,” it can be freeing to embrace relationships for what they actually are: meaningful within their specific context. Activity-specific relationships thrive because they remove the pressure of needing to be everything for each other. Instead, they let people connect in ways that are natural and effortless.
Some of the strongest bonds people form are through shared activities. A running partner, a gaming friend, a book club companion, a gym buddy—these are all relationships built on something tangible and real. And in many ways, they can be even more valuable than an undefined, all-purpose friendship.
I’ve had great friends that I trained martial arts with. Others that I’ve gamed with. I’ve made friends at work, at the gym, at photo sessions and simply because we both ended up at the same cafe at the same time a lot.
None of them were BFF’s, but they were all meaningful connections. All of them had value to me, added something to my life, and none of them were permanent.
That’s OK. There’s a strength in that.
The Strength in Defined Connections
A friendship that exists within a defined activity can often feel more stable. There’s a built-in rhythm, a natural way to interact, and no pressure to make it anything other than what it is. These relationships allow for depth and connection without the weight of expectation—no need to be each other’s emotional crutch, no pressure to force a deeper connection outside of the shared space.
Activity-based friendships can also be longer lastingthan general-purpose friendships. When a friendship is built around “everything,” it can be more prone to fizzling out when life circumstances change. But when it’s built around something specific—weekly game nights, weekend cycling trips, an online writing group—it has a strong foundation to keep it going, even if other aspects of life shift.
Letting Go of the Need for One “Perfect” Friend
There’s something liberating about allowing friendships to be what they naturally are. Rather than searching for a single person to fulfill every social need, embracing a variety of connections based on shared interests and activities can lead to a richer, more fulfilling social life.
Instead of asking, “Who is my best friend?” the better question might be: “Who do I connect with in ways that matter?”
Maybe your deep, meaningful conversations happen with a friend from your book club. Maybe your sense of adventure is shared with a travel buddy. Maybe your competitive side comes alive with your gaming group. None of these friendships are lesser for being activity-specific. If anything, they may be more meaningful because they allow each person to be fully themselves in that space, without needing to be everything to each other.
Final Thought: A New Definition of Meaningful Friendships
Friendship isn’t about finding one person to be your everything—it’s about forming connections that matter, in ways that work for you. Activity-specific relationships offer a different kind of depth, one that doesn’t demand all-encompassing closeness but thrives on shared passion and consistency.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s more sustainable—and even more rewarding—than trying to find a single “best friend forever.”
…or, ‘Why you deserve more than a mattress and a TV.”
For too long, the idea of a “bachelor pad” has been synonymous with the bare minimum—an apartment with a mattress on the floor, a big TV, and maybe a gaming console. Add a fridge for the inevitable beer, a few empty takeout boxes, and you’re living the cliche baby!
It’s the default image of solo living for men, reinforced by movies, TV shows, and that one friend who insists, “What more do you need?”
The truth? You deserve more.
I’ll be honest here – this post is probably quite male-centric. Guys are more likely to live with the bare minimum here, more likely to be almost proud of how little they ‘need’.
Women are smarter than men, we all know this.
Women know that your home should be more than just a place to crash at night. It should be a space that supports your life, reflects your personality, and makes you feel at ease. Living alone isn’t about surviving with the basics—it’s about thriving in an environment you create for yourself.
Your home should be your sanctuary, the space you look forward to returning to (or even staying in!). You should feel at home in your home.
More than just survival
Living alone is about more than surviving. This site is called Thriving Solo for a reason.
Living alone opens a world of opportunities for you to craft the home space that suits your life.
When I first moved into my current apartment, I was living properly alone for the first time in literally decades.
I had furniture, so I wasn’t starting with the classic mattress on the floor. I had a head start there.
Still, I made a number of mistakes. Nothing that I couldn’t fix of course, but a few things that took me way too long to realise.
I’m lucky – my apartment is quite spacious. I have a large (for one person) living area, open plan with kitchen and dining downstairs, and upstairs is the bedroom, bathroom, and this sort of awkward space tucked in next to the stairway.
This last, this is where I put my “office”.
It stayed there for a year.
Meanwhile, the big, spacious living area (which is where both the heating and cooling were) stayed empty most evenings, while I sat at my desk, writing or gaming.
Weekends, they were much the same. I’d sit at my desk, often too cold, bundled up in too many layers to be wearing inside.
It took me way too long to realise just how dumb that was.
So, one weekend, I disassembled my desk, and moved it downstairs. Where it was warm. Or where, in summer, I could throw open the doors and let the warm summer air in. I was near the kitchen (which did wonders for my hydration), I had my good stereo set up down there, my vinyl collection, all that good stuff.
Added bonus, I was now close enough to run an ethernet cable to my gaming computer. Great for my ping times!
It also gave me more space, so I added a second larger desk – sit-stand, and could now fit a larger screen. I transitioned to a work-from-home role, and my living room became my full-time home-office.
And why not? I rarely have people over, and I have more than enough room downstairs. If I want to spend most of my time in a large, airy space, with temperature control and easy access to the fridge, why shouldn’t I?
Now, in the space upstairs where my desk used to be… it’s back. It’s my dedicated writing space, set up with a single screen, while my downstairs is for working and gaming. I find the separation useful for focus.
When you don’t have to consider another person, you can arrange your living space to suit yourself. Maybe you want your bed in what the house-plan calls your living room, your bedroom gets turned into a media space.
Your space. Make it your own!
Why Your Space Matters
Whether you’re aware of it or not, your environment affects everything—your mood, your productivity, even your self-esteem. A cluttered, impersonal space doesn’t just look bad; it can make you feel unmotivated, disconnected, and stuck in “temporary” mode.
When your home is well put together, you walk in the door and feel good about where you are. You have a space where you can relax, recharge, and enjoy your own company—without feeling like you’re living in a half-finished college dorm.
The Problem With The “I Don’t Care” Mentality
A lot of people (men are the worst at this) dismiss home decor as something frivolous or unnecessary. Maybe you’ve thought:
“It’s just me living here. Who am I decorating for?”
“I’m not an interior designer. I don’t know what looks good.”
“I’ll fix it up when I move somewhere more permanent.”
But here’s the thing—this isn’t about impressing guests, and it’s definitely not about following design trends. It’s about creating a space that actually works for you. The sooner you take ownership of your space, the more comfortable and settled you’ll feel in your own life.
But it’s more than that. It’s more than just comfortable and settled. It’s contentedness, it’s not just being comfortable, it’s being comforted by the space you’ve created.
What Makes a Home, Not Just a Crash Pad?
This isn’t about having the sort of ‘home’ you’ll see on Instagram. The goal isn’t some arbitrary ‘perfection’—it’s functionality, comfort, and personality. Here’s how to upgrade your space without overcomplicating it:
Get Your Bed Off the Floor
Sleeping on a mattress on the floor might have been fine in your early twenties, but a proper bed frame isn’t just about aesthetics—it makes sleeping more comfortable, protects your mattress, and signals that your space is put together. You don’t need an expensive setup—just something sturdy that gets your bed off the ground.
Especially if you’re not as young as you once were (and who is?), elevating your bed makes it easier to get in and out of, less of a chore. Speaking of chores, it’s easier to make your bed or change the bedding too, which means you’re more likely to do it more often.
Oh, and while you’re at the bed-frame store, why not treat yourself to some new sheets for that soon to be elevated bed?
Upgrade Your Seating
A single couch, or even a quality armchair can make all the difference in how your home feels. It gives you a dedicated place to unwind beyond your bed. A dining chair at a desk isn’t the same as a comfortable seat where you can read, game, or just relax.
Lighting Makes or Breaks a Space
Overhead lights are harsh and uninviting. If your apartment feels sterile, adding lamps with warm bulbs instantly makes it feel more comfortable. Smart bulbs allow you to adjust brightness and colour to fit your mood.
You can also do fun things with quirky lamps – my current favourite is a raven that holds the cord with the bulb hanging at the end of it.
(My raven’s name is Matthew).
Storage = A Cleaner, More Functional Space
Floating shelves, a bookcase, or even a simple storage bench can keep your space organised and help you avoid the “random piles of stuff” look. Having a designated place for your essentials reduces clutter and makes your home more functional.
Me, I’m a reader, so good bookshelves were one of my first purchases.
It’s important not to rush this! Look for options that suit you, don’t just buy the first white-veneered Ikea-clone shelf that you see. Find something you actually like the look of, something with colours that will start to shape the space in a direction that suits you.
For me, that means black metal and dark wood. That’s my taste though.
What’s yours?
Add Something That Reflects YOU
Your home should have elements that make it feel personal. A framed poster of your favourite movie, a record player, books, a cool clock—whatever makes your space feel like it belongs to you. If everything you own is generic, your space won’t feel like yours.
I have an antique china cabinet (OK, for me it’s mostly a drinks cabinet), and that’s part of my personal history there. This has a prime place in my main living area, it’s where my stereo lives, and it’s a home for my favourite tipples. With glass doors, this puts my scotch and bourbon on display, reminds me that they’re there. This isn’t a bad thing.
The Bottom Line: You Deserve a Space That Works for You
Your home isn’t just a place to sleep—it’s where you start and end every day. Investing even a little time and effort into making it more comfortable, functional, and personal will improve your quality of lifein ways you won’t even realize until you do it.
If you’re not sure where to start, here’s a simple challenge:
Pick one thing from this list and upgrade it within the next week. Get your bed off the floor. Add a lamp. Clear some clutter. One small change can shift how you feel in your space.
This isn’t about having the “perfect” home—it’s about taking ownership of your space and making it yours. You deserve that.
