…or, ‘Why you deserve more than a mattress and a TV.”
For too long, the idea of a “bachelor pad” has been synonymous with the bare minimum—an apartment with a mattress on the floor, a big TV, and maybe a gaming console. Add a fridge for the inevitable beer, a few empty takeout boxes, and you’re living the cliche baby!
It’s the default image of solo living for men, reinforced by movies, TV shows, and that one friend who insists, “What more do you need?”
The truth? You deserve more.
I’ll be honest here – this post is probably quite male-centric. Guys are more likely to live with the bare minimum here, more likely to be almost proud of how little they ‘need’.
Women are smarter than men, we all know this.
Women know that your home should be more than just a place to crash at night. It should be a space that supports your life, reflects your personality, and makes you feel at ease. Living alone isn’t about surviving with the basics—it’s about thriving in an environment you create for yourself.
Your home should be your sanctuary, the space you look forward to returning to (or even staying in!). You should feel at home in your home.
More than just survival
Living alone is about more than surviving. This site is called Thriving Solo for a reason.
Living alone opens a world of opportunities for you to craft the home space that suits your life.
When I first moved into my current apartment, I was living properly alone for the first time in literally decades.
I had furniture, so I wasn’t starting with the classic mattress on the floor. I had a head start there.
Still, I made a number of mistakes. Nothing that I couldn’t fix of course, but a few things that took me way too long to realise.
I’m lucky – my apartment is quite spacious. I have a large (for one person) living area, open plan with kitchen and dining downstairs, and upstairs is the bedroom, bathroom, and this sort of awkward space tucked in next to the stairway.
This last, this is where I put my “office”.
It stayed there for a year.
Meanwhile, the big, spacious living area (which is where both the heating and cooling were) stayed empty most evenings, while I sat at my desk, writing or gaming.
Weekends, they were much the same. I’d sit at my desk, often too cold, bundled up in too many layers to be wearing inside.
It took me way too long to realise just how dumb that was.
So, one weekend, I disassembled my desk, and moved it downstairs. Where it was warm. Or where, in summer, I could throw open the doors and let the warm summer air in. I was near the kitchen (which did wonders for my hydration), I had my good stereo set up down there, my vinyl collection, all that good stuff.
Added bonus, I was now close enough to run an ethernet cable to my gaming computer. Great for my ping times!
It also gave me more space, so I added a second larger desk – sit-stand, and could now fit a larger screen. I transitioned to a work-from-home role, and my living room became my full-time home-office.
And why not? I rarely have people over, and I have more than enough room downstairs. If I want to spend most of my time in a large, airy space, with temperature control and easy access to the fridge, why shouldn’t I?
Now, in the space upstairs where my desk used to be… it’s back. It’s my dedicated writing space, set up with a single screen, while my downstairs is for working and gaming. I find the separation useful for focus.
When you don’t have to consider another person, you can arrange your living space to suit yourself. Maybe you want your bed in what the house-plan calls your living room, your bedroom gets turned into a media space.
Your space. Make it your own!
Why Your Space Matters
Whether you’re aware of it or not, your environment affects everything—your mood, your productivity, even your self-esteem. A cluttered, impersonal space doesn’t just look bad; it can make you feel unmotivated, disconnected, and stuck in “temporary” mode.
When your home is well put together, you walk in the door and feel good about where you are. You have a space where you can relax, recharge, and enjoy your own company—without feeling like you’re living in a half-finished college dorm.
The Problem With The “I Don’t Care” Mentality
A lot of people (men are the worst at this) dismiss home decor as something frivolous or unnecessary. Maybe you’ve thought:
- “It’s just me living here. Who am I decorating for?”
- “I’m not an interior designer. I don’t know what looks good.”
- “I’ll fix it up when I move somewhere more permanent.”
But here’s the thing—this isn’t about impressing guests, and it’s definitely not about following design trends. It’s about creating a space that actually works for you. The sooner you take ownership of your space, the more comfortable and settled you’ll feel in your own life.
But it’s more than that. It’s more than just comfortable and settled. It’s contentedness, it’s not just being comfortable, it’s being comforted by the space you’ve created.
What Makes a Home, Not Just a Crash Pad?
This isn’t about having the sort of ‘home’ you’ll see on Instagram. The goal isn’t some arbitrary ‘perfection’—it’s functionality, comfort, and personality. Here’s how to upgrade your space without overcomplicating it:
- Get Your Bed Off the Floor
Sleeping on a mattress on the floor might have been fine in your early twenties, but a proper bed frame isn’t just about aesthetics—it makes sleeping more comfortable, protects your mattress, and signals that your space is put together. You don’t need an expensive setup—just something sturdy that gets your bed off the ground.
Especially if you’re not as young as you once were (and who is?), elevating your bed makes it easier to get in and out of, less of a chore. Speaking of chores, it’s easier to make your bed or change the bedding too, which means you’re more likely to do it more often.
Oh, and while you’re at the bed-frame store, why not treat yourself to some new sheets for that soon to be elevated bed?
- Upgrade Your Seating
A single couch, or even a quality armchair can make all the difference in how your home feels. It gives you a dedicated place to unwind beyond your bed. A dining chair at a desk isn’t the same as a comfortable seat where you can read, game, or just relax.
- Lighting Makes or Breaks a Space
Overhead lights are harsh and uninviting. If your apartment feels sterile, adding lamps with warm bulbs instantly makes it feel more comfortable. Smart bulbs allow you to adjust brightness and colour to fit your mood.
You can also do fun things with quirky lamps – my current favourite is a raven that holds the cord with the bulb hanging at the end of it.
(My raven’s name is Matthew).
- Storage = A Cleaner, More Functional Space
Floating shelves, a bookcase, or even a simple storage bench can keep your space organised and help you avoid the “random piles of stuff” look. Having a designated place for your essentials reduces clutter and makes your home more functional.
Me, I’m a reader, so good bookshelves were one of my first purchases.
It’s important not to rush this! Look for options that suit you, don’t just buy the first white-veneered Ikea-clone shelf that you see. Find something you actually like the look of, something with colours that will start to shape the space in a direction that suits you.
For me, that means black metal and dark wood. That’s my taste though.
What’s yours?
- Add Something That Reflects YOU
Your home should have elements that make it feel personal. A framed poster of your favourite movie, a record player, books, a cool clock—whatever makes your space feel like it belongs to you. If everything you own is generic, your space won’t feel like yours.
I have an antique china cabinet (OK, for me it’s mostly a drinks cabinet), and that’s part of my personal history there. This has a prime place in my main living area, it’s where my stereo lives, and it’s a home for my favourite tipples. With glass doors, this puts my scotch and bourbon on display, reminds me that they’re there. This isn’t a bad thing.
The Bottom Line: You Deserve a Space That Works for You
Your home isn’t just a place to sleep—it’s where you start and end every day. Investing even a little time and effort into making it more comfortable, functional, and personal will improve your quality of life in ways you won’t even realize until you do it.
If you’re not sure where to start, here’s a simple challenge:
Pick one thing from this list and upgrade it within the next week. Get your bed off the floor. Add a lamp. Clear some clutter. One small change can shift how you feel in your space.
This isn’t about having the “perfect” home—it’s about taking ownership of your space and making it yours. You deserve that.