I realised, a couple of weeks ago, that it’s been months since I had physical contact with another human being that wasn’t a business handshake.
When you live alone, it’s easy for physical touch to quietly fade out of your life. No hugs hello or goodbye, no hand on your shoulder in passing, no absentminded contact that most people don’t even notice they’re getting.
For a while, you might not miss it. Then one day, you realise your body does. Human touch isn’t a luxury—it’s a need. It grounds us, calms the nervous system, reminds us we exist in the world.
So how do you meet that need when you’re on your own?
Start With Self-Contact
It sounds small, but it matters. Massage lotion into your own hands or shoulders. Stretch. Take long, hot showers. Use a weighted blanket or soft fabrics. Run your hands through your hair. These small actions tell your brain: I’m here, I’m safe, I’m cared for.
Bring Touch Into Your Routines
Get regular massages if you can. Try yoga, swimming, or dance—anything that reconnects you with the physical side of being alive. Pet an animal if you have one (or borrow one from a friend for an afternoon). Even something as simple as washing dishes by hand or gardening counts; they’re all forms of sensory grounding.
Seek Connection—Safely
If you’re missing deeper human connection, it’s okay to admit that too. Hug a friend when you meet. Sit close during a movie night. Choose safe, healthy touch with people you trust. It doesn’t have to be romantic, sexual or even intimate—it’s simply about reminding your body that connection still exists.
For me? I have a massage booked for later in the week, and on the weekend, I spent some time roughhousing with three rambunctious nephews. Good times and good, healthy contact—for me and for them.
Touch doesn’t have to be constant to matter. A little bit of intentional contact—the kind that makes you feel alive, connected, part of something—goes a long way.
Touch Is Not a Weakness
Needing touch doesn’t make you needy. It makes you human. Living alone doesn’t mean living untouched—it just means you have to be intentional about how you meet that need.
So treat yourself to some touch. In whatever way feels right. You deserve to feel held—even if, right now, it’s by your own two hands.