I live at the back of a courtyard. I have three sets of neighbours – two couples, one older lady who lives alone.
We mostly ignore each other. Not in a bad way—we just live separate and distinct lives. If we happen to be in the courtyard or the driveway at the same time, we exchange a few friendly words. Other than that, we see each other, and we don’t need to interact.
And honestly? That suits me fine.
I don’t want to host street barbecues or get drawn into neighbourly drama. I like my space. I like not feeling obligated to make small talk just because I took the bins out at the same time as someone else. But at the same time, I want to be a good neighbour. I want to be someone who contributes to a sense of ease and quiet goodwill, not tension or suspicion.
You don’t have to be sociable to be considerate. You don’t have to be friends to be friendly.
The Quiet Art of Neighbourliness
For those of us who enjoy solitude, neighbourliness isn’t about being outgoing. It’s about creating an atmosphere of mutual respect. A sense of “we don’t need to be in each other’s pockets, but we’ve got each other’s backs.”
That can look like:
Giving a quick wave when you pass someone in the driveway.
Keeping your noise to a minimum (especially at night).
Not blocking shared spaces.
Offering a hand if you see someone struggling with shopping or furniture.
Returning packages that get left at your door by mistake.
It’s not a social contract. It’s just shared decency.
Knowing the Vibe
One of the best things you can do as a neighbour is read the room—or in my case, the property.
Are your neighbours chatty? Do they keep to themselves? Has anyone ever invited you to something, or is it more of a nod-and-carry-on place?
You don’t need to match their energy, but it helps to understand it. That way, you’re not accidentally being standoffish, or—on the flip side—too familiar in a place that values boundaries.
Small Gestures, Big Impact
You don’t need to do anything grand. Just being the kind of neighbour who doesn’t cause problems is enough. But if you want to go a step further:
Shovel a bit of someone else’s driveway if you’re already out there.
Water their plants if they’re away (and you’re asked).
Let someone know if their car lights are on, or if there’s a parcel sitting exposed in the rain.
In my case, my nearest neighbour and I will bring each other’s empty rubbish bins in. Whoever happens to go out and clear theirs first, they’ll also grab the other person’s, and drop it where it belongs. No stress, no commitment, just neighbourly good natured behaviour.
None of these require commitment or ongoing involvement. They just show that you’re paying quiet attention—and that you care, even if you’re not looking to become best friends.
Final Thoughts: Neighbourly Without Needy
Living alone doesn’t mean isolating yourself from the world around you. It just means you get to choose how you engage.
Being a good neighbour doesn’t require extroversion. It requires thoughtfulness, respect, and the willingness to look up from your own life every now and then to make someone else’s a little easier.
You don’t have to be social to be part of a community. You just have to be kind.
Living alone means total freedom over your time—which is both a blessing and a curse. There’s no one to nag you about unfinished tasks, no shared schedules dictating when things get done, and no external structure keeping you on track.
And that’s great… until you realise that you just spent three hours scrolling through Reddit, your sink is full of dishes, and somehow, you have nothing to show for an entire weekend.
Time can disappear when there’s no one else around to anchor it, and when you live solo, it’s easy to drift between unstructured hours and low-energy habits without even noticing.
So how do you stop wasting time without turning your life into an exhausting productivity checklist? The key is balance—finding a rhythm that lets you feel satisfied with your days without falling into the trap of over-optimisation.
Recognise the Difference Between “Rest” and “Drift”
Not every slow moment is wasted time. Resting is necessary: it helps you recharge, process thoughts, and reset for the next thing. Drifting, on the other hand, is when you’re not really resting or being productive. Instead, you’re just passing time in a way that doesn’t feel meaningful.
The key is awareness. If you feel better after an activity (watching a show you love, taking a walk, reading, or gaming), it was rest. If you feel sluggish, guilty, or like the time evaporated with nothing to show for it, you were drifting.
Quick Fix: Before starting any activity, ask yourself: Will this make me feel better or worse afterward? If it’s true rest, keep going. If it’s mindless drifting, shift gears.
Afterwards, evaluate the truth of what you thought before you started, and learn something from that lesson.
The “Accidental Time Sink” Problem
Living alone means no built-in interruptions to break up your time. There’s no roommate coming home to snap you out of a social media spiral. No one asking, “What have you been up to?” to make you reflect on your day.
That’s how an hour of “I’ll just check my phone” turns into an entire evening lost.
Quick Fix: Use a Pattern Interrupt—when you catch yourself mindlessly scrolling or zoning out, do something physical for 30 seconds (stand up, stretch, get a drink). That tiny action resets your focus and helps you make a conscious decision about what to do next.
Make “Soft Structure” Work for You
Rigid schedules don’t work for everyone, and living alone means you don’t have to follow anyone else’s routines. But that doesn’t mean your days should be entirely unstructured.
Soft structure means creating a flow to your day without forcing a rigid schedule.
Instead of saying, “I will start work at exactly 9:00 AM,” try “I will start my first task after I make coffee and open my laptop.”
Instead of “I will read for 30 minutes every night,” go with “I will read a few pages before bed, even if it’s just two.”
Quick Fix: Identify one or two anchor points in your day—things that naturally happen (waking up, meals, getting home from work). Use those as triggers for small actions that help you stay on track.
Stop Making Every Task a “Big Thing”
When you live alone, tasks expand to fill the time you give them.
Laundry doesn’t take three hours. It takes ten minutes to start a load, two minutes to switch it, and five minutes to put it away.
Dishes don’t take “forever.” It’s a five-minute job unless you let them pile up. If you do let them pile up, it’s still only half an hour.
When no one else is around to hold you accountable, small tasks can feel bigger than they are.
Quick Fix: Use the 10-Minute Rule—set a timer for 10 minutes and start any task. If you want to stop when the timer goes off, you can. Most of the time, you’ll just finish the thing.
I use my Air Fryer for a lot of my evening meals, and my personal rule is that I won’t sit down while it’s running – I’ll do something. That 10-15 minutes (depending on what I’m cooking) is when I take care of a lot of my simple household maintenance tasks.
Use “Intentional Time-Wasting” to Your Advantage
Sometimes, wasting time is exactly what you need—but it’s better when it’s on purpose instead of by accident.
Binge-watching a show guilt-free is fun. Binge-watching out of procrastination and regret is miserable.
The difference? Deciding in advance.
Quick Fix: Set a “permission window” for things that might otherwise feel unproductive. “I’m going to spend an hour gaming, and then I’ll get up and do something else.” That way, it’s an active choice, not a passive drift.
Final Thoughts: Living Alone Means You Set the Pace
The best part of solo living is that you get to decide how you spend your time. No one else shapes your schedule, routines, or priorities—you have total control.
That freedom is powerful, but it also means you have to be your own guide. The trick isn’t to cram your time with constant productivity, but to be intentional about where your hours go.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to notice when time is slipping away and decide if that’s what you really want.
So go ahead—watch that show, scroll that feed, take that nap. Just make sure that when you do, it’s because you chose it, not because the time just disappeared.
One of the best-kept secrets about living alone? You get to be fully, unapologetically yourself. No filtering, no compromising, no wondering if your habits are “normal” or “acceptable.” When you live alone, the only person who has to be okay with how you exist in your space is you.
That means you can embrace your weirdness, your quirks, and the random habits that make you, well… you. And honestly? That’s one of the greatest perks of solo living.
When you share a space with others, you have to be reasonable. You have to consider their preferences, be mindful of what’s “appropriate,” and generally keep the peace. But when you live alone, your home is your kingdom, and you make the rules. Want to eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Go for it. Rearrange your furniture at 2 AM just because you feel like it? No one’s stopping you. Sing at full volume in the shower—or out of it? It’s your concert, and the audience is always approving.
Living alone also means you don’t have to justify your bizarre daily routines to anyone. We all have weird habits—things we do when no one’s watching—but the difference is, when you live alone, no one is watching. You don’t have to explain why you eat meals on the floor instead of at the table, why you talk to yourself while doing chores, or why you always enter your home with a dramatic flourish. Your time is yours, and you can shape it however you want.
Another major perk? Your home reflects you, and only you. If you’ve ever lived with roommates, family, or a partner, you know how much compromise goes into decorating and organising a shared space. But when you live solo, you don’t have to think about whether your love for sci-fi posters clashes with someone else’s “modern minimalist” aesthetic. Your home can be filled with bookshelves instead of a TV, mismatched mugs instead of uniform dish sets, or an oversized bean bag instead of a formal sofa. You don’t have to make your space “guest-friendly” or align it with what someone else thinks looks good—it only has to make you happy.
Living alone also gives you room to experiment, whether that’s in fashion, cooking, or new hobbies. Want to wear a cape around the house just for fun? Go ahead. Feel like straight up Winnie-the-Poohing it around the house, with just a shirt on, and easy breezy down below? All good, my friend. Always wanted to try making homemade sushi but worried it might turn into a disaster? If it flops, there’s no audience for the failure—just you and your next attempt (and an unartistic mess of tasty ingredients that you can still eat and enjoy). Your living room can transform into an art studio, a music space, or whatever creative chaos you feel like embracing.
If you want to display your glass eye collection in your terrariums? You do you!
One of the best, most underrated perks of living alone? No social obligations—unless you actually want them. There’s no pressure to engage in morning small talk before you’ve had coffee, no forced interactions when you just want quiet, and no one questioning your decision to spend an entire weekend completely alone. If you don’t feel like talking, you don’t have to. If you want to cancel plans last minute—who’s going to stop you? Silence can be golden, and the ability to control when and how you interact with the world is a level of freedom few people get to experience.
Ultimately, one of the greatest joys of living alone is the ability to be completely, unapologetically yourself. No censoring, no justifying, no worrying about whether your habits are “acceptable.” The things that might seem weird to others? They make your home feel like yours.
So go ahead—talk to your plants, eat ice cream straight from the tub, and dance around your living room like no one’s watching. Because no one is watching.
…or, ‘Why you deserve more than a mattress and a TV.”
For too long, the idea of a “bachelor pad” has been synonymous with the bare minimum—an apartment with a mattress on the floor, a big TV, and maybe a gaming console. Add a fridge for the inevitable beer, a few empty takeout boxes, and you’re living the cliche baby!
It’s the default image of solo living for men, reinforced by movies, TV shows, and that one friend who insists, “What more do you need?”
The truth? You deserve more.
I’ll be honest here – this post is probably quite male-centric. Guys are more likely to live with the bare minimum here, more likely to be almost proud of how little they ‘need’.
Women are smarter than men, we all know this.
Women know that your home should be more than just a place to crash at night. It should be a space that supports your life, reflects your personality, and makes you feel at ease. Living alone isn’t about surviving with the basics—it’s about thriving in an environment you create for yourself.
Your home should be your sanctuary, the space you look forward to returning to (or even staying in!). You should feel at home in your home.
More than just survival
Living alone is about more than surviving. This site is called Thriving Solo for a reason.
Living alone opens a world of opportunities for you to craft the home space that suits your life.
When I first moved into my current apartment, I was living properly alone for the first time in literally decades.
I had furniture, so I wasn’t starting with the classic mattress on the floor. I had a head start there.
Still, I made a number of mistakes. Nothing that I couldn’t fix of course, but a few things that took me way too long to realise.
I’m lucky – my apartment is quite spacious. I have a large (for one person) living area, open plan with kitchen and dining downstairs, and upstairs is the bedroom, bathroom, and this sort of awkward space tucked in next to the stairway.
This last, this is where I put my “office”.
It stayed there for a year.
Meanwhile, the big, spacious living area (which is where both the heating and cooling were) stayed empty most evenings, while I sat at my desk, writing or gaming.
Weekends, they were much the same. I’d sit at my desk, often too cold, bundled up in too many layers to be wearing inside.
It took me way too long to realise just how dumb that was.
So, one weekend, I disassembled my desk, and moved it downstairs. Where it was warm. Or where, in summer, I could throw open the doors and let the warm summer air in. I was near the kitchen (which did wonders for my hydration), I had my good stereo set up down there, my vinyl collection, all that good stuff.
Added bonus, I was now close enough to run an ethernet cable to my gaming computer. Great for my ping times!
It also gave me more space, so I added a second larger desk – sit-stand, and could now fit a larger screen. I transitioned to a work-from-home role, and my living room became my full-time home-office.
And why not? I rarely have people over, and I have more than enough room downstairs. If I want to spend most of my time in a large, airy space, with temperature control and easy access to the fridge, why shouldn’t I?
Now, in the space upstairs where my desk used to be… it’s back. It’s my dedicated writing space, set up with a single screen, while my downstairs is for working and gaming. I find the separation useful for focus.
When you don’t have to consider another person, you can arrange your living space to suit yourself. Maybe you want your bed in what the house-plan calls your living room, your bedroom gets turned into a media space.
Your space. Make it your own!
Why Your Space Matters
Whether you’re aware of it or not, your environment affects everything—your mood, your productivity, even your self-esteem. A cluttered, impersonal space doesn’t just look bad; it can make you feel unmotivated, disconnected, and stuck in “temporary” mode.
When your home is well put together, you walk in the door and feel good about where you are. You have a space where you can relax, recharge, and enjoy your own company—without feeling like you’re living in a half-finished college dorm.
The Problem With The “I Don’t Care” Mentality
A lot of people (men are the worst at this) dismiss home decor as something frivolous or unnecessary. Maybe you’ve thought:
“It’s just me living here. Who am I decorating for?”
“I’m not an interior designer. I don’t know what looks good.”
“I’ll fix it up when I move somewhere more permanent.”
But here’s the thing—this isn’t about impressing guests, and it’s definitely not about following design trends. It’s about creating a space that actually works for you. The sooner you take ownership of your space, the more comfortable and settled you’ll feel in your own life.
But it’s more than that. It’s more than just comfortable and settled. It’s contentedness, it’s not just being comfortable, it’s being comforted by the space you’ve created.
What Makes a Home, Not Just a Crash Pad?
This isn’t about having the sort of ‘home’ you’ll see on Instagram. The goal isn’t some arbitrary ‘perfection’—it’s functionality, comfort, and personality. Here’s how to upgrade your space without overcomplicating it:
Get Your Bed Off the Floor
Sleeping on a mattress on the floor might have been fine in your early twenties, but a proper bed frame isn’t just about aesthetics—it makes sleeping more comfortable, protects your mattress, and signals that your space is put together. You don’t need an expensive setup—just something sturdy that gets your bed off the ground.
Especially if you’re not as young as you once were (and who is?), elevating your bed makes it easier to get in and out of, less of a chore. Speaking of chores, it’s easier to make your bed or change the bedding too, which means you’re more likely to do it more often.
Oh, and while you’re at the bed-frame store, why not treat yourself to some new sheets for that soon to be elevated bed?
Upgrade Your Seating
A single couch, or even a quality armchair can make all the difference in how your home feels. It gives you a dedicated place to unwind beyond your bed. A dining chair at a desk isn’t the same as a comfortable seat where you can read, game, or just relax.
Lighting Makes or Breaks a Space
Overhead lights are harsh and uninviting. If your apartment feels sterile, adding lamps with warm bulbs instantly makes it feel more comfortable. Smart bulbs allow you to adjust brightness and colour to fit your mood.
You can also do fun things with quirky lamps – my current favourite is a raven that holds the cord with the bulb hanging at the end of it.
(My raven’s name is Matthew).
Storage = A Cleaner, More Functional Space
Floating shelves, a bookcase, or even a simple storage bench can keep your space organised and help you avoid the “random piles of stuff” look. Having a designated place for your essentials reduces clutter and makes your home more functional.
Me, I’m a reader, so good bookshelves were one of my first purchases.
It’s important not to rush this! Look for options that suit you, don’t just buy the first white-veneered Ikea-clone shelf that you see. Find something you actually like the look of, something with colours that will start to shape the space in a direction that suits you.
For me, that means black metal and dark wood. That’s my taste though.
What’s yours?
Add Something That Reflects YOU
Your home should have elements that make it feel personal. A framed poster of your favourite movie, a record player, books, a cool clock—whatever makes your space feel like it belongs to you. If everything you own is generic, your space won’t feel like yours.
I have an antique china cabinet (OK, for me it’s mostly a drinks cabinet), and that’s part of my personal history there. This has a prime place in my main living area, it’s where my stereo lives, and it’s a home for my favourite tipples. With glass doors, this puts my scotch and bourbon on display, reminds me that they’re there. This isn’t a bad thing.
The Bottom Line: You Deserve a Space That Works for You
Your home isn’t just a place to sleep—it’s where you start and end every day. Investing even a little time and effort into making it more comfortable, functional, and personal will improve your quality of lifein ways you won’t even realize until you do it.
If you’re not sure where to start, here’s a simple challenge:
Pick one thing from this list and upgrade it within the next week. Get your bed off the floor. Add a lamp. Clear some clutter. One small change can shift how you feel in your space.
This isn’t about having the “perfect” home—it’s about taking ownership of your space and making it yours. You deserve that.
